Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
