White coat. Heels.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
