She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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