Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
