counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
