I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was like eating out sand paper
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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