I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
