Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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