this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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