Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
