I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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