Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
