you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
