We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
