So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
