i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
