Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
