yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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