I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
