brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
