great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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