would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you traded sex for a burrito?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
