I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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