I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
