I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just high enough for therapy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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