This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
