Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
