TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
