Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
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We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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