Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
