so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
