I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
