I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
