Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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