my sisters under your porch take her home
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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