I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
