Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(204): View more from Manitoba

this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on

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(416): View more from Ontario

What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

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(310): View more from California

If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?

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(718): View more from New York

Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.

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(361): View more from Texas

As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.

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(650): View more from California

You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out

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