at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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