My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize