I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
