paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
