u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
