It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
