take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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