awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
