the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
