He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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