I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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