I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
