i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
