Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Randomize
