You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize