omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
