I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
