You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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