also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
