even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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