I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
