Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
