Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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