We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
