shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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