Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
porn star boner night. come get it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
