Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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