think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
