is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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