: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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